Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Next Survivor Televison Series- a story Mom's MUST read!!

THE NEXT SURVIVOR TELEVISION SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment . He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite colour, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

My friend Jaime had this on her blog, and I thought it was so good!! Thanks for sharing it Jaime.. I thought it worthy of posting--at least it's worth a good laugh and actually helps a mother to feel a little better about herself when so much is expected!

4 comments:

Beth said...

Crap. Is this all the stuff I'm supposed to do? I don't even do a third of this and I've been the mom for 6 1/2 years. Plus, some of the fundamentals have never been in my grasp, even when I only had one kid, like keeping my clothes clean past 9 a.m.
Good thing it's not a reality show for women, cause I'd lose.

Emily said...

Ha ha, beth I feel the same way...but I would have to say if I was making the show I'd skip the period make him 6 weeks pregnant and really sick all the time and also ditch the soccer make them all toddlers and they have to go to play groups... That fits my life a little better! LOL

Yasmine said...

I would totally watch that show with a bucket of popcorn and a bunch of mom friends while we laugh our heads off.

Janelle Ehat said...

This is hilarious Becca! How did I miss this when you posted it? SO funny!