The day after Thanksgiving we found out that we were going to have another baby!! Our kiddos were soooo excited!! They wanted to put the # 5 on their shirt and see if Grandma and Grandpa Ras who were in town would be able to guess our big news!!!
For years I thought we were done having kids. Mentally I thought our family was complete.Then last fall I could tell that the Lord was preparing me for something. Working on me and my heart and trying to soften it up a little bit or maybe a lot. We've been blessed with 4 beautiful, healthy, amazing children. My pregnancies have never been easy, I've had weird health problems with each one, I'm considered high risk. Especially when I was pregnant with Kolby we experienced a lot of difficult complications that put both Kolby and I in risk. I felt blessed to have the family I do, worried about having more...so having another baby was pretty far from my mind. We got rid of all the baby things and were just enjoying the stage of life we were in...no diapers...it's been great.
Right before last October's General Conference we sat our children down and a had good discussion about how when we listen to General Conference if we listen with a question in our hearts we can receive answers. I felt the spirit as we talked and the kids seemed really excited for Conference to start..
I remember doing the dishes before the session started after we talked to the kids about receiving answers to questions and I started feeling like we should have another baby...honestly it wasn't a thought I really wanted to have, I was good and comfortable where we were at. So I pushed the thought away quickly. Again I started thinking about it and feeling like maybe that was something that I should be asking the Lord for answers during General Conference. I again pushed the idea out of my head as fast as I could and remember telling the Lord..."I'm NOT going to ask or pray or dwell on this, I don't want to know the answer!" then trying to justify I said..."They NEVER speak directly about this topic in Conference anyways..." Yeah I guess the Lord hadn't softened me up enough yet.
When Elder Neil L. Andersen started speaking, (his talk was entitled "Children") my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe what I was experiencing, hearing and feeling. As I listened with my mouth open for probably the entire talk, tears were running down my face. They were tears of surprise, confusion, happiness and fear. LeGrand kept looking at me with a worried or eager expression but I didn't want to meet his gaze...I was just trying to soak in what I was feeling and learning. He knew something was up.
Later that day we talked about having another child. LeGrand and I knew with out a shadow of a doubt that there was another little angel waiting to join our family. Since this experience our lives have never been the same. Shortly afterwards we found out that we would have another sweet angel come into our home.
I have learned so much through this experience. I know that when we turn our lives over to Christ he can make more out of them than we can. I know that it's not my plan, but His. He knows what is best for us and what we need even when we are too stubborn to see it for ourselves.
Our pregnancy was hard, full of sickness, tests, lots of blood work, tons of Dr. apts, itching, non-stress tests and restrictions. It was full of lots of prayers for our babies health, for my health, tons of answered prayers and miracles. Besides getting Gestational Diabetes again, all the other things I was at high risk for didn't happen. All of my tests for Cholestasis came back looking good which was a miracle. After I delivered the Dr. told me he thought I did have Cholestasis but it didn't effect our baby!!! Another miracle. I know that the Lord blessed and strengthened me and protected our baby!! I know that when we do something, even and especially if it's something that is hard or scary for us because we know it's the right thing to do that the Lord will be there to help guide, lift and strengthen you!! I'm grateful that he has given us another miracle!!